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"You don't really know your wife until you share her." I didn't even understand what my husband meant by that statement until he showed me the video that he had taken of me with the only other man I have ever been with. I had very little sexual experience when I met my husband. Mostly a little "kissy-face" with boys and hours of talking with girls who didn't know much more than me. We were dating by 15, married by 21. We have always had a good relationship . . . one that all my girlfriends were jealous of.

We spent the first few years concentrating on careers, so at 24 we had no children, but all was on track and we were happy. We had always been able to talk about anything and one night while sitting on our deck finishing off some awesome weed, he brought up a topic we had never discussed. He asked me if I was ever sorry that I never experienced having sex with other partners. At first I was shocked and thought that it was his way of telling me that he was having an affair. After convincing me that was not the case and he was genuinely asking about me, I assured him that he was the only man I wanted. That was sort of true, but not totally honest.

Secretly I wondered what it would be like, and envied my girlfriends who were "more worldly". I couldn't help but wonder how the touch of another man would feel . . . what it would be like to touch him intimately . . . to know that I had aroused him . . . that he wanted me! I couldn't let myself be totally forthcoming with him, but he was ...

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