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I'm not a religious man. I don't read the Bible. I'm not even sure how it begins, except that I think it starts out with God creating the world. It goes, "On the (whatever day) God created the world. Then he rested," or something.

I'm pretty sure God didn't just create the world before he rested. Creating the world for a guy like that seems easy enough. No, I bet he rested after he created red-heads. Why? Have you ever seen a red-head? There's literally nothing more perfect in this world (I know I misused the word literally, but figuratively isn't strong enough, sorry). Why would God need to keep creating after that? He reached nirvana (not the band).

Perhaps not all red-heads have achieved perfection. Maybe one or two could use some work. But overall, they're a species that needs no fixing. If you find one that's unattached, my advice is to attach yourself to her as soon as possible. You can thank me later.

I had one in mind. Her name was Jenny Block, and if you don't think everyone called her Jenny from the Block than you must have been born yesterday. Now, Jenny didn't have all the assets of the other Jenny from the block, but who needs that when you have something better.

Jenny, who sat just about five feet from me at work, had long, luxurious red hair. It was always down. Like, always, even in the highest heat of ...

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