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I remember this as if it were yesterday. It was a Saturday night in the fall of 1999. My husband D and I were out hitting a few of the regular bars, and before heading home we stopped at one last bar. It was a sports bar in Escondido, a few miles from where we lived in San Diego at the time.

The place was about half full when we walked into the bar area around midnight. By now, after watching interracial videos and from listening to my GF Sandy tell us stories about her experiences, I was beyond curious about Black Men. Dee was always encouraging me to do whatever makes me happy and I wasn't sure when, but I sure felt like I wanted to take the first step soon. We sat at the bar, Dee to my right, and as I spun on my stool to face him after our drinks arrived, I saw over his shoulder three people sitting together at a table; an Asian couple and a black man sitting across from them.

They all appeared to be in their mid 20's. He was dark, with his afro trimmed short, tall, and go-o-o-oood looking. I mentioned him to Dee and he asked if I wanted to sit alone at the bar. At first I said 'no', because I had no experience picking up men in this setting, then Dee suggested he would leave and afterwards, I could go over and ask him if he had a light for my cigarette (I still smoked then, yuck!). Dee said he would walk outside, cross the street and go buy something from the store across the street before heading back to see if I was outside smoking with my new friend. If I was, Dee said really don't want this ...

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