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Twas the night before New Years,

When all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

Not even my spouse.

His clothes were all packed, in a suitcase with care,

While he and his bag traveled, afar on cheap airfare.

The children were all snuggled, at a friends homestead,

While visions of a sugar daddy, danced in my head.

So alone in the dark, I laid for a nap,

When at the front door, I heard a loud rap.

I sprang from the couch, to answer the clatter,

And found standing in my doorway, a naked Nick Batter.

A friend of my husband, who was always quite brash, ...

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