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Day 8 of 10

I woke early and alone in Cozumel, and knew there were two more nights where that would happen again. It had been after 3 AM when I finally found the bed, so I didn't expect the Painful Welt and Willow for at least a couple of hours. I was convinced that they did something much different when they found his bed.

I had breakfast, checked email and the news on my phone, downed several cups of coffee, and watched the video I took last night - twice - but mainly I fought with myself. I finally settled the argument with my conscience. It had been trying to convince me I'd already reached the Jake Line.

My conscience lost, and this time I would keep my word. Alcohol had been a significant factor in my crazy offer to the Painful Welt last night, but my dark fantasy had emerged even further and was undoubtedly now predominant, even when I was sober in the light of day.

That reaffirmation eliminated the discomfort and embarrassment I would have felt if my conscience won and I had to tell my newlywed wife that I wanted to renege on the drunken offer I made for her to switch sleeping partners. She knew it was an offer made to satisfy my dark fantasy, but I love my wife and I hoped she would recognized that my act of pushing her into the arms of another man was also done with ...

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