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Lover, I owe you an apology. Last night, when we were sitting in Argerio’s, you asked me why I was acting so funny. And I said nothing was the matter, and everything was fine.

That wasn’t exactly true. I had a lot on my mind, but I didn’t think you’d want to hear about it. You looked so cute, with your cell phone on the table in front of you, telling me about all the really important things you were doing at work. I didn’t think it was appropriate to tell you that while you were at work yesterday, I bumped into two college guys at the grocery store, took them home, and let them fuck my brains out.

I know you don’t really like talking about sex, so I didn’t want to trouble you with the way the more handsome of the two, a real cutie, flirted with me so ostentatiously. About how he helped me load my groceries into the car, kept staring at my tits, and finally, when the last bag was packed, grabbed my ass. It was strange, but I was so flattered by the huge bulge in his jeans that I just kinda’ melted. So I started kissing him. I didn’t think you’d want to hear about the way I invited them back to the house.

And if you didn’t want to hear about that, I knew you wouldn’t want to hear about the way, when we got back to our house and were starting to carry the groceries in, they set the bags down and attacked me on the front lawn. I say attacked, but I was probably encouraging them by the ...

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