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Since I don't have a blog and messaging through ES internal mail only reaches a portion of my readers, LOOSE ENDS seems to serve as the best outlet for information. One year ago, at the second lowest point in my life, eclipsed only by my wife leaving, then divorcing me because she didn't want to be married anymore, I had lost my job, car, apartment, most of my possessions, and most of all... HOPE. I had literally given up, saw no future, just didn't care anymore. Then I got the call to take a job in a foreign environment, a lumber yard. As a person who has always hired someone to do things, I could barely fold a paper bag or mow my own lawn. I've worked since I was 15, always had a job and always paid my bills, I just had no desire to fix my own car, repair my own roof, mow my own lawn.

I'm not entitled, I'm lazy.

The job is a good one, pays well, and I have slowly begun to learn things I never knew about or cared about. Soon I had made some new friends, lost ones who never were, and learned to stand up for myself again. I had found HOPE. While things are not perfect, it took some doing. I have my own place, and am replacing things like furniture, electronics and clothes. More importantly, I found my voice again. During this rediscovery, I came to a couple of surprising conclusions and a revelation. While I have been burdened by writing what I thought people wanted to read, caving everytime someone voted low or gave a scathing review, I never realized for every zero, there's a hero. All ...

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