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I woke as usual about 8.30 on Saturday morning with my head aching from the previous night's drink, and spinning because of what I'd done with my best friends ... "it is just sex ... lots of it, fantasy stuff sometimes ... well regularly, but just sex and fun." He'd told me, but was it? Could it be that simple?

My mind raced as I drank my coffee and ate my toast ... yet again regretting that I'd given up smoking.

I looked at the clock and it was time to go to the gym... with Kira ... could I? Should I? I did, of course.

Nothing was said about Friday night, which was a relief I think, and as she had another lesson afterwards, we didn't go into the steam room either. I walked home alone and honestly; I felt a bit disappointed at not being ‘with' my friend. Afterwards it was a typical Saturday, doing the ‘big shop', having a light lunch then visiting my sisters.

"Are you okay?" Shelby asked after a while, "you seem miles away." "No; I'm good." I sighed and tried to look interested in their conversation about wallpaper or whatever.

A while later my other sister, Grace took my arm, "If it's a man ... you're worried about, don't ... we know how much you loved Frank ... but you've got to move on ... we'll understand, everyone will if you ...

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