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When I met Jim, I wasn’t looking for a man. I was 21 and a feminist, and I had determined that I didn’t want or need another man in my life again. I spent my weekends at gay bars and clubs, meeting and dancing with every attractive woman I could find. And the summer before I met Jim I had started to figure out how I would tell my close friends and my religious family that I was a lesbian. So needless to say, I was not expecting to fall for a man any time soon.

I had a lot on my mind at the beginning to the year. I was graduating from college soon, and I didn’t know how my parents would react to my news about my sexuality. But despite all my troubles, I could find a place to unwind and that was in my Women’s Studies classes. On the first day of class, I was surprised to see any men at all. You don’t normally see men in Women’s Studies classes, but they are extremely rare in Advanced Feminist Theory. But there he was. He was the only person in the room I didn’t know. We went around the room and introduced ourselves. When the professor got to him he just said, “Hey. My name is Jim.” I just rolled my eyes. I thought, “Boys make me tired. Why is he here anyway?”

I was sure he would drop the class, but he just kept showing up. He didn’t say much at all, but every once in a while he would make a pretty good comment. I was pretty impressed about how strongly he felt about gay rights issues. He hung out a few times after class chatting with the rest of us. It turned out we had pretty similar senses of ...

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